Adam Up/Transcript
This is a complete transcript of the episode Adam Up. Transcript (Adam, Bree, Chase & Leo are in the lab. The Rats are completing a training on a virtual training platform) Leo: Great job, guys. You just took out an entire unit of virtual cyborgs. Eddy:'' (appears) I think it's sad that you have to invent people to play with you. '''Adam': All right Leo, I'm off the clock. Let's get outta here. Chase: Whoa whoa whoa! Just 'cause Mr. Davenport's away doesn't mean we stop training. (Leo and Adam groan) Chase: How do you think I feel? I'm missing a four-hour documentary on the history of the Printing Press. Adam: But Leo and I were gonna play human bull's-eye bounce... don't worry, it's way more dangerous than it sounds. Chase: Human bull's-eye bounce. Is there any way you can get a good enough bounce to land in the emergency room? 'Cause that would save us a lot of time. Bree: Nope. He's right, Adam. As much as I enjoy watching you get hurt and -- (laughs) I really do-- we have to train. Leo: Oh, come on! The adults are away! If we don't take advantage by doing something destructive, we're no better than... Chase. Chase: I'm sorry, but unless he can be in two places at once, he's training. Come on, let's get the bo staffs. Adam: Oh man, I never get to do what I want. It's not fair. Bree: Aww. Are all of your cool bionic abilities and top secret missions getting you down? Adam: Thanks Bree. I knew you'd understand. (to Leo) ''Sorry, buddy. '''Leo': Too bad you can't be in two places at once. Eddy: Well, now he can! 'Cause it's time to play "Eddy's Will It Or Will It Not Blow Up In Your Face". A riding mower, a set of barbecue utensils, or a cellular duplicator. Adam: Ooh, I really want to ride something on grass! But I do love the grill. (zooming sound) Leo: Eddy, we're gonna go with the cellular duplicator! Eddy: (makes a beeping sound) ''Good choice! This lovely state-of-the-art device scans human DNA and creates a life-like double using synthetic bioplasma! '''Adam': Too complicated. Go for the riding mower. Leo: No. This is how we can make two of you. It makes a non-human twin out of a human. Eddy: That's right. But be careful, it's not fully tested so there's a small chance it could go horribly wrong. Leo: Then, why are you telling us to use it? Eddy: There's a small chance it could go horribly wrong. Adam: I'll give it a shot. Where is it? Eddy: I'll give you a hint.'' (makes another beeping sound. Adam & Leo find the duplicator)'' Leo: How does it work? Eddy: It just needs a sample of your DNA. Adam: Ooh, I got this.'' (spits in the duplicator which swings into action)'' Leo: You know, you could've just put a hair in there, right? Adam: Ew, that'd be gross. (the duplicator drops synthetic bioplasma) ''Aww, look. It has my eyes. ''(A Duplicate Adam is formed from the bioplasma) ''Whoa! '''Leo': Awesome. (Adam raises his hand, and so does Duplicate Adam. They raise their other hands, turn around and shake their butts) ''This may have been a big mistake. ''(Theme song plays) (Bree and Chase re-enter the lab with three bo staffs. Bree hands one of them to Duplicate Adam) Chase: All right. Break's over. Fire up the simulator. Adam, please remember: the cyborgs are fake, but I am real. Duplicate Adam: Just one question: is this real? (hits Chase) Chase: Ow! Why did you do that? Duplicate Adam: Because real pain's funnier than fake pain. (hits Chase again) Chase: Uhh! Ohh! Bree: You're a genius? Ha! Even I saw that coming. (Bree and Adam handshake) Duplicate Adam: Oh. Aww! (Adam and Leo are watching on the security system) '' '''Leo': This is great. They're totally buying duplicate you. Adam: I know. The only thing more fun than hitting Chase is watching me hit Chase. Leo: Let the human bull's eye bounce begin! Adam: Whoo! (handshakes Leo) ''Okay. It's as easy as it looks. Jump as high as you can and try and land in one of the point circles. '''Leo': Cool. It's just like being at a real carnival. Adam: I know. I even covered the floor with popcorn and mystery goo. Leo: (sarcastically) Thanks. Adam: I'll go first. The key is to get a lot of bounce and then worry about accuracy. Eddy:'' (appears) Oh, just hurry up and get hurt! '''Adam': WHOA!!!!'' (crashes)'' Quick! Get me down from here! I've gotta do that again! (Next scene. Bree & Chase are at Mission Creek High) Principal Perry: Hey. (goes to them) ''Hansel and Gretel. My niece is visiting from.... um... wherever she lives, and I'mma assign you two to be chaperones for a couple of days. '''Chase': Oh, uh... well, see, I can't. Bree: We are so sorry. Chase: ... 'Cause I gotta be-- Principal Perry: Oh, that's so cute. You think you have a choice. Ha ha ha ha ha! Bree: But why would you need us to show her around? You can't stand us. Principal Perry: Oh, you've notice. Look, my niece's sweetness and... if she hangs around the cool kids, they'll corrupt her. That's why she's hanging with you. If it's unclear, let me spell it out: you're not cool. Kerry: (sweet) Hi, aunt Terry. Principal Perry: Kerry, darling. This is uhh... give me a second... Kevvvinnn... Suzzzzannnn... Bree: Bree and Chase. Principal Perry: No one really cares. Kerry: (sweet) ''Nice to meet you. I'm Kerry Perry. Thanks for showing me around. I hope it's not too much of a bother. '''Bree': No, no. We are happy to be forced to help. Principal Perry: Great. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm headed to the chem lab to sear off a wart. Kerry: (sweet) ''Bye, aunt Terry! Hee hee! (turns mean) Here's the deal, ''ladies. I'm skipping school and hitting the mall. And when I get there, I'm gonna plant a dead fly in my burrito and eat for free. Chase: Sorry, but as your chaperone-- Kerry: Shut it, squat-mug! Little elves called-- they want you back at the tree to make cookies. Bree: Umm... you can't talk to us like that. Kerry: Ha! Just did, boy hips! I'm outta here. Chase: You can't just go. Bree: Yeah. What are we supposed to tell your aunt? Besides the fact that she should round up some bail money. Kerry: Tell her I was with you two nimrods all day! And, you better do my homework, or else you'll get this: (sweet, bawling) Aunt Terry! They were so mean to me! Make them pay! Make them pay!'' (mean again) So we're good? Later, peeps. '''Chase': Okay, she is definitely a Perry. (Next scene. Leo is in the cafetaria when he gets a phone call) Leo: Go for Dooley. Adam: (on phone) Hey, how's it going? Leo: Great, duplicate Adam is acting just like you... (looks at Duplicate Adam, who is making a massive apartment building out of sausages) ''although he did get a D+ on your geography test. '''Adam': A D+? He better dial it back or we're gonna get caught. Leo: So how's everything going at home? Adam: Oh, great. I'm just finishing up a "nacho volcano". Oh no! The cheese lava's coming! Run for your lives, people of Jalapeñia! No!!! No!!! Don't worry, I'll save you with my mouth.'' (imitating airplane)'' Leo: Hey, Adam. That is nacho responsibility. (laughs) Okay, bye. Adam: Wait wait wait. I wanna talk to me. Leo: It's for you. Duplicate Adam: Who is it? Leo: You. Duplicate Adam: Oh, hello. Adam: Hey, how am I? Duplicate Adam: You're good. How am I? Adam: You're good. Duplicate Adam: Just so you know, I'm not crazy about this whole school thing. Adam: Oh, well I'm having a blast. I'm about to go ice fishing. Duplicate Adam: What?! How you gonna do that? Adam: I froze Leo's fish tank. Duplicate Adam: No way, I gotta go. (rushes away) (At home, Adam looks too close to his nacho volcano and he gets cheese on his nose) (Next scene. Bree & Chase are handing homework to Kerry) Chase: Math homework, chemistry homework, history homework. Bree: And, here's your art project. Don't expect an A. Kerry: Don't expect a thank you. Now give me twenty bucks. Bree: For what?! Kerry: Milkshakes for me and my girls. (steals money out of Bree's purse) Fork it over, princess! Bree: What? Chase: You just got a shakedown by a pre-teen! Kerry: I'm thirteen, bum-sweat! Chase: Were you raised by a gang of bikers? Bree: That's it. We are done with this. Principal Perry, we need to have a little discussion about your niece. Principal Perry: We sure do. She loves you two. Chase: What?! That's impossible. Principal Perry: I know. I find you repulsive. Thanks for watching Kerry. This morning, I got to spend an extra hour at the dog track! Bree: Okay, that's great. But we-- Principal Perry: So now I need you to watch her tonight. I'm playing flag football with the sheriffs. Chase: And how do you ''get to play flag football with the sheriffs? '''Principal Perry': Go to enough highway wrecks with free pizza and they'll let you in. Anyway, if you watch Kerry, I might just forget about the detention days you you've accrued. Bree: What detention days? Principal Perry: You mouthin' off? You just got detention! Bree: What?! You can't do that! Principal Perry: Just did, Sally sideburns! Bree: That is it. We are done watch-- Chase: Can you just give us one second please? (takes Bree away from Kerry & Terry) Look, okay. The girl is a nightmare but if we do this, we might get on Principal Perry's good side. Bree: The woman has many sides. None of them are good. Fine, I'll do it. Chase: We've discussed it, and Kerry is more than welcome to come over tonight. Principal Perry: There you go again-- acting like you have a choice. (Next scene. Adam is in the kitchen when Leo enters the house) Leo: Hey, where's duplicate Adam? I lost him at lunch. Adam: He came home so he could go ice fishing with me. Leo: What? Adam: Yeah, it's a long story but remember your goldfish Beyonce? Leo: Yeah. Adam:'' (takes a frying pan with something frying in it) She'll be joining us for dinner, '''Leo': Just tell me where your duplicate is. Adam: Hey, relax. I told him what Chase told me: Unless you can be in two places at once, it's back to school. Leo: But he didn't go back to school. Adam: Well, then where is he? (Next scene. Adam & Leo rush to the lab where they find three Duplicate Adams, with a fourth one forming right at that moment) Leo: What are we gonna do? Adam: I don't know what you're gonna do, but we're gonna start a boy band. (makes a few dancing moves, the 4 Duplicate Adams follow his lead) (Commercials) Adam: Okay, which one of me is responsible for this? Three Duplicate Adams: (pointing at the fourth Duplicate Adam) He is. Guilty Duplicate Adam: I only duplicated myself once because you said I had to go back to school. Adam: Can't argue with that. Guilty 'Duplicate Adam': Then the duplicate I made didn't want to go to school either. Adam: Again, makes sense. Leo: Adam, we have to do something. Adam: I know! Let's make one more duplicate and make that one go to school. Leo: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.'' (breaks the duplicator)'' Adam: You broke my me-maker. Leo: And you fried Beyonce, we're even! Okay, we need to find a way to get rid of those guys. I'll go get Chase, you stay down here and keep an eye on them. Adam: Well, looks like we're stuck here for a while so let's get to know each other. I'm Adam. Duplicate Adams: No way, that's my name... that's my name... that's my name! Adam: No! What?! Duplicate Adams: No way, that's my name... that's my name... that's my name! (Next scene. Kerry has arrived at Davenport's house, with Bree & Chase in the living room) Kerry: (sweet) ''Bye, aunt Terry! Love you! ''(car drives away, Kerry returns being mean) ''Ohh. Her car is ''disgusting. I don't know where the kitty litter ends and the cookie crumbs begin! Bree: All right, Kerry. You're on our turf now. So we're not gonna put off with you bossing us around. Kerry: I'm not staying with you losers. I'm going to the skate park to throw marbles in the half pipe and then sell ice packs in the parking lot. Chase: That is pure evil. Kerry: You call it evil? I call it a lucrative side business. Oh, my taxi's here. Don't wait up. Ha ha ha. Bree: Aren't you gonna go after her? Chase: Aren't you gonna go after her? Bree: Fine, we'll both go. Leo: (rushes in) Hey. Hey, guys! Um... we have a serious problem with Adam. Chase: You'll have to be more specific. Leo: Yes. There are five of him. Bree: What are you talking about? Leo: We made duplicates. Chase: What? Adam: Hey, guys. Leo: Adam, what are you doing up here? You're supposed to be downstairs watching the other Adams. Adam: Hello? They're our guests. It would be rude not to offer them drinks. "Two waters, 1 OJ, an one berry-infused decaf green tea, soy milk on the side". One of me is very high-maintenance. (Next scene. Three Duplicate Adams are playing paper-rock-scissors. They all choose scissors, sigh and try again. They all choose paper) Duplicate Adam: Ohh! That's twenty in a row! (all present Duplicate Adams sigh. Adam, Bree, Chase & Leo enter) Bree: More Adams? We will never be able to air this place out. Adam: See, guys? There's nothing to worry about. They're all here. Chase: I thought you said there were four duplicates. Adam: Yeah, (counts Duplicate Adams) ''one, two, three, (has run out of Duplicate Adams and counts himself as the fourth one) four. Uh oh. '''Chase': Just go track down the missing Adam. I'll keep an eye on them and find a way to reverse the duplication process. Where's the duplicator? Leo: Well, there's a shard of it underneath your shoes. Chase: You broke the duplicator!? Leo: Hey, that thing was squirting out an Adam every ten seconds. What did you want me to do? Chase: Just go find the missing Adam! Duplicate Adam: Um, we were told there would be beverages. (Scene changes to living room, Adam and Chase are looking for duplicate Adams) Chase: Do you really think that your duplicate would be hiding under the cushions? Adam: Oh, he's definitely been there. My couch cookies are gone. Chase: I figured out how to get rid of the duplicates. When an electrical current flows through them, they vaporize. I already used this to zap three of them downstairs. Now, we just have to find the one last Adam that got away. (Bree walks in with a duplicate Adam) Bree: Found him. (Leo walks in with a dupicate Adam) Leo: Found him. Chase: Guys, what is going on? There was only supposed to be one Adam left. Duplicate Adams: Hi, everyone... those guys look just like us, you're wearing what I'm wearing..... (Adam, Bree & Chase look into the kitchen where they see 15 more Duplicate Adams) Bree: No. No. I cannot handle this many Adams. The WORLD cannot handle this many Adams. This is Armageddon! Leo: It doesn't make any sense. If there's one thing I'm good at, it's breaking things and I definitely broke that duplicator. Eddy:'' (appears)'' Well, did I not mention that the duplicates can multiply on their own? They just had to learn how. And guess what, I taught them. Principal Perry:'' (at the door) Yoo-hoo. Anybody home? '''Chase': Guys, that's Principal Perry. Bree: Great. So now there are eighteen Adams walking around and no Kerry. Chase: Shhh. Let's just pretend we're not here. Principal Perry: I heard that. You don't think my parents tried that on me at Christmas? Kerry? Are you okay? (knocks on door) ''Open up! '''Chase': Everything's fine! We just need a second. Principal Perry: Listen up, little pigs: I've got a welding torch and a battering ram in my trunk. This could go easy or this could go hard. Chase: (zaps 17 Duplicate Adams) ''That's only seventeen. There's one left. Where is he? '''Bree': I don't know. Principal Perry: LOOK OUT BELOOOOOOW! Leo: Did you just shimmy down the chimney? Principal Perry: It's okay. I'm a professional. Used to be a chimneysweep back in the nineties. I learned the hard way not to wear a skirt... Now, where's my niece? Bree: Uh, she's just getting her things together. She'll be out any minute. Duplicate Adam: Hey, guys. Chase: Adam?! Principal Perry: What's going on? Why are there two of you? Chase: You must've got some soot on your glasses. Leo: Oh yeah, yes you did. Let's get those cleaned right off. Hey! Maybe, we can have a snack. Would you like a celery stick? Principal Perry: What do you think? Point me to your premium meats. Bree: Hurry up and zap them. Chase: All right. Which one of you is the real Adam? Both Adams: I am. Bree: What are you waiting for? Just zap 'em both. Chase: I can't. If I zap the real Adam, the jolt of electricity will fry his bionic infrastructure. Bree: Well, you gotta zap one of 'em. Adam: May the best Adam win. Duplicate Adam: Good luck, bro. Both Adams: Ho... Bree: Hurry up before Perry sees! Principal Perry: Your tartar sauce is expired! Can I have it? Leo: I think you're good. Chase: All right, whichever of you is the real Adam, show me what you've got. Adam: You asked for it. Chase: Wait. No-- no! No! No! No!'' (Adam throws Chase across the room)'' Aaah! Duplicate Adam: Bye bye. (Bree zaps the Duplicate Adam) Principal Perry: Uh, remember, next time I come over, I like my salami spicy. Now, where is Kerry? All: The thing is... she's just... uh..... (they are saved by Kerry entering the house) Principal Perry: Kerry! Kerry: (sweet) Aunt Terry! You're here! I was just taking a stroll on their lovely grounds, and... I must have gotten lost. Principal Perry: So, you're okay? Kerry: (sweet) Okay? These two have been wonderful to me. I'm just sad I'm not gonna get to hang with them anymore. Principal Perry: Well, then I have some good news. I'm enrolling you at Mission Creek so then you'll get to spend every day with... Steee... and Duu.... Bree: Bree and Chase! Principal Perry: Yeah, I still don't care. (Last scene. Adam, Bree, Chase & Leo are watching TV when the bell rings) Adam: Oh, pizza's here. I'll get it. (Gets the door, not realizing the delivery guy is a Duplicate Adam) Duplicate Adam: One large pepperoni for Adam. Adam: Thank you very much, Adam. (closes the door) That's so weird. That pizza guy looked just like me. Uh-oh. Bree: Oh boy. Yup. Chase: I'll grab the zapper. (runs after Duplicate Adam with Bree & Leo) Adam: Hey! There's three pieces missing! That's so like me. (eats pizza) (credits play) Category:2013 Category:Season 2 Category:Season 2 Transcripts Category:Transcripts